Pacing and Leading

4:44 AM in NLP

This is a short piece that was sent to me by my colleague Ofer. Ofer is a Master Practitioner of NLP. I'm not editing this with the exception of defining a term. I will incorporate changes over time if Ofer changes it. 

One of the key principles of NLP is pacing and leading. Its a fairly simple principle. At its core it states that before you can take a person in a new direction, leading them, you first need to meet them where they are at, pacing. In NLP, the main place where this principle is emphasized is in rapport building. Inherently the practitioner meets the other by matching them, in their body, voice, breathing, language, etc. In matching, the two form a connection, an unconscious one, that allows the practitioner to now move in a new direction and have the other follow. Those who have experienced being led from a place of strong connection know how powerful and unconscious an experience it can be, and how effective being there with the other is for facilitating change.

If we delve deeper, we find that pacing and leading permeates many other aspects of NLP as well. For example, consider the classic "change personal history" pattern. The basic structure of the pattern has the person connect to a state/memory from the past and once there take a new direction, possibly by reframing or adding a resource. The pacing in this pattern is connecting to that old state/memory. If we think of our minds as a very large state machine (in the loosest sense), with our consciousness being the window to a current state. We might also conceive that the mind is only able to change the states that we are actually connected to. Then, the act of connecting to that old state/memory is actually the pacing that opens the door for changing that state and its impact. To make a martial arts analogy, you can't affect an ukei without engaging them first. It is by meeting the ukei that different outcomes become a possibility. Thus, in "change personal history" the pacing is in directing the mind to the place where change needs to take place, the old state/memory, and the leading is redirecting the mind from that state to a new possibility, a new way of perceiving that old state/memory, and in such changing it.

Note: Ukei is the person offering an attack in martial arts like Aikido.